Overcoming the Comparison Trap for Bloggers and Girl Bosses

 In Fashion, Inspiration, Outfits

one shoulder dress in soho one shoulder dress in soho
one shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in sohoone shoulder dress in soho

Photos by the amazing Cassidy Hopkins.

Outfit details: dress: here // shoes: here // purse: here // watch: here (discount code:LIFEOFLAURR) // earrings: here

 

Alright, I was just going to make this another outfit post (since I finally found a great photographer, Cassidy Hopkins, in NYC). But, I decided to go a bit off the cuff and talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot recently… the comparison trap.

comparison trap

 

I think that this so-called “comparison trap” occurs in just about every aspect and stage of life. Starting in elementary school I remember girls comparing themselves. They would say things to me like “you’re SO short” and to other girls, “you’re TOO tall,” honestly it was cruel. Even as I’ve gotten older, the idea of comparing yourself to others doesn’t really go away. I still think sometimes, Wow I wish I was at least a few inches taller or What if I had that amazing body. Truthfully, running a blog does not make avoiding this comparison trap any easier.

Being a blogger and “social influencer” means putting yourself out there on the internet and across social media. Honestly, this is something that I have struggled with since I’ve started blogging.  Standing at only 5 feet tall, sometimes I feel ridiculous getting my photos taken and worried that people think I’m trying to be a model.  But, I LOVE fashion. I’ve always loved fashion. And what is the easiest way to share outfits with your readers? Photograph yourself in them, duh.

Do I ever see photos of gorgeous bloggers traveling the world and going to glamorous places? Yes. Do I wish I was there instead of at my office in NYC? Probably. But, I’m happy that I got a job right after graduation in New York and have been working hard to learn every aspect of the industry over the past few months. Some people may not get to move to a new city after graduation or even have the luxury of picking what industry to work in. I always try to remember to be thankful for my experiences!

So while I may not ever be that Instagram model, I remember that I do this because it’s my passion. I love writing, creating content, crafting aesthetically pleasing feeds, and connecting with all of you! I enjoy putting outfits together, trying new restaurants, and exploring new areas.

 

I’ve also met some great girls through this blogging world, and some of them I can honestly call true friends.

 

 

The blogging industry can be cutthroat and competitive. People will comment rude things or act unfriendly when you reach out to them.  I have so much respect for well-known bloggers who take the time to answer DMs or get personal and real on videos.  All of us bloggers, or just #girlboss women, can probably relate in more ways than we think. I’ve found that girls are more self-conscious than guys, and as women with influence, it is our job to build each other up and not comment nasty messages across the internet. I get so excited when I see one of my blogger friends working with an amazing brand or posting beautiful photos, that I always want to share or like their posts!

Overall, there might always be people out there who you are envious of and want something that they have. Just remember, they could be thinking the same exact thing about you! The comparison trap is real, and we can all learn to overcome it. Try not to compare yourself to others because, as cheesy as it sounds, we are all unique and amazing in different ways.

Bloggers- No need to be competitive or rude to other content creators, we should be supportive! Girl Bosses- Keep doing you. Share your talents and support others who may need your help.

As part of this community, I encourage you to compliment three people today and see what a difference it makes. Also feel free to share this with your girl gang to get the conversation started and truly appreciate each other. I’ve found that being kind and supportive to others also makes you feel good about yourself, appreciate less superficial traits, and overcome the comparison trap.

 

Xx,

Lauren

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Showing 47 comments
  • Shelby Back
    Reply

    I loved reading this! the comparison game is real, so I always love reading different perspectives!

    xo!
    Shelby
    http://www.glitterandgingham.com

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you so much, Shelby! 🙂

  • Austen
    Reply

    It’s so easy to compare yourself to others but as long as you keep doing what you like and love, everything will work out! I have to remind myself of that all the time. Thanks for this post!
    -Austen
    http://www.keepcalmandchiffon.com/blog/8/9/fall-jacket-shopping-guide

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Love those words, Austen! Thanks for reading xx 🙂

  • jcrewismyfavstore
    Reply

    This is a great post! It’s SO important to celebrate ourselves without looking at what others are doing. And, your outfit is super cute!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you so much! Glad you agree 🙂

  • Ashley DTKAustin
    Reply

    Such a great post! I think this is one of the biggest issues in the blogging world to date. You do you and good things will happen! I wish everyone had that mindset so there would be less anxiety and stress about what other people are doing.

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you so much, Ashley! I totally agree that when you are yourself, good things come 🙂

      Xx,

      Lauren

  • Ruthie Ridley
    Reply

    You look gorgeous!! Love this look and I love this message!! We have to remember that we are just as amazing as the next person!! Such an amazing post!!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you so much! We are all amazing 🙂

      Xx,

      Lauren

  • Ashley
    Reply

    Such a great read and an amazing reminder to celebrate who you are! Love this outfit too!!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you so much, Ashley!!

  • Kenzie
    Reply

    This is such a personal subject that we definitely all have struggled with! Thank you for sharing your thoughts (:

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Of course <3 Thank you for reading!

      Xx

  • Megan
    Reply

    Yes girl! I love when bloggers come together to encourage and support each other. Not take each other down.

    Megan | http://www.pipmegan.com

  • Jenna Colgrove
    Reply

    this dress is gorgeous!

  • Kachet Jackson-Henderson
    Reply

    Great subject to tackle! We all have to do that “check in” so we stay focused!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you! Agreed 🙂

  • Kelli Bailey
    Reply

    Everyone gets caught up in the comparison game, whether they like to believe they do or not. This was so nice to read a positive outlook on the blogging world & how to be friendly instead of vicious. 🙂

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thanks for reading Kelli, glad you agree 🙂

      Xx

  • kara
    Reply

    I love this Lauren! It’s so true. If I ever start to compare, I will usually make sure to leave an awesome comment and hope to connect with that blogger or girlboss because you never know who will inspire you or maybe even be a new friend!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you so much, Kara! That’s such a good idea to leave a nice comment 🙂 I love making new blogger friends too!

      Xx

  • Holly
    Reply

    This is such an important post! Collaboration over competition always! I’m SO over the competitiveness of the blogging/influencer realm. BORING! Would much rather support other people and get excited for them when they experience little wins, too!

    http://hollyhabeck.com

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      I 100% agree with you, Holly!! Also, your blog site is adorable. Definitely going to follow along 🙂

      Xx

  • Shell
    Reply

    Love your wisdom… we should not be comparing ourselves to others but be grateful for our own blessings! 🙂

  • Kat Blehl
    Reply

    I can totally relate to this girl! Keep doing what you’re doing…you’re amazing!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you, Kat! So are you!!

  • chaundraj
    Reply

    Great reminder! It is so easy to get caught up wanting what someone else has that you forget to enjoy what you have AND the process to get it! Thanks for posting and sharing this!!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you for reading!! Xx

  • Leticia
    Reply

    Great message I’m happy you went with this topic. p.s you’re stunning.

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Oh my gosh you are so sweet 🙂

  • Kristen
    Reply

    This is such a great post and definitely a message that needs to be spread throughout the community! I think we all get caught up in the comparison game sometimes, but it’s important to remember that everyone has a different journey 🙂

    Also, I love your dress – you look great girl!!

    Kristen | http://www.sophisticatedgal.com

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you, Kristen! Yes, we all do 🙂

      Xx

  • Linda Tran
    Reply

    I love your outfit so much! So important to just do your thing and not compare yourself to others!

    Linda

  • Jenny
    Reply

    Love the idea of complimenting 3 people per day. The comparison trap is so real though. It’s definitely something all women and especially bloggers experience.

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you, Jenny!!

  • summer
    Reply

    Love it! I wrote an entire post dedicated to beating and avoiding blogger envy! Community over competition!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Love that, I’ll have to check it out 🙂

  • Lisa
    Reply

    Love your post, your pictures, and your attitude! As a new blogger, I haven’t come across negative comments yet but I am sure it will be crushing when it happens. And it’s inevitable as some gals just are not supportive and are so overly competitive by nature. I make an effort to compliment others, I believe that what you give out will come back to you!

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thanks, Lisa! 🙂 I agree with that 100% !

  • Jasmine
    Reply

    Comparing yourself to other bloggers is the worst thing someone can do. I use to do that in the beginning of my blogging journey and then I just stopped doing it because it was making me feel negative about what I was doing.

    p.s. loving this outfit

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      So true! Glad you stopped, I’ve been trying to stop too 🙂 Thanks girl!

  • Lisa
    Reply

    This is such a great post and great reminder. I feel like i am always comparing blogging stuff to others, but I do get inspired and hope to be that successful someday!

    XO-Lisa

    http://www.thatssodarling.com

  • Emmi
    Reply

    I completely agree! It can be so easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to other bloggers. But I do think that connecting and collaborating with others allows us to make friends instead of getting stuck in comparison!

  • Andrea
    Reply

    I loved this post! I get so in my head sometimes. It’s so easy to compare ourselves in blogging and social media.

  • Tiffany Haywood
    Reply

    Hi Lauren!

    This si such a great post. You’re so right, as influencers and Bloggers we are automatically putting ourselves out there BUT at the same time we need to learn how not to underestimate what we have to offer by comparing ourselves to others. I always refer back to the quote: Comparison is the thief of joy. When you worry or think on what someone else has that you don’t – you loos the joy of what you do have.

    • Lauren Gill
      Reply

      Thank you so much, Tiffany! Love that quote, thank you for sharing 🙂

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