Overcoming the Comparison Trap for Bloggers and Girl Bosses
Photos by the amazing Cassidy Hopkins.
Alright, I was just going to make this another outfit post (since I finally found a great photographer, Cassidy Hopkins, in NYC). But, I decided to go a bit off the cuff and talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot recently… the comparison trap.
I think that this so-called “comparison trap” occurs in just about every aspect and stage of life. Starting in elementary school I remember girls comparing themselves. They would say things to me like “you’re SO short” and to other girls, “you’re TOO tall,” honestly it was cruel. Even as I’ve gotten older, the idea of comparing yourself to others doesn’t really go away. I still think sometimes, Wow I wish I was at least a few inches taller or What if I had that amazing body. Truthfully, running a blog does not make avoiding this comparison trap any easier.
Being a blogger and “social influencer” means putting yourself out there on the internet and across social media. Honestly, this is something that I have struggled with since I’ve started blogging. Standing at only 5 feet tall, sometimes I feel ridiculous getting my photos taken and worried that people think I’m trying to be a model. But, I LOVE fashion. I’ve always loved fashion. And what is the easiest way to share outfits with your readers? Photograph yourself in them, duh.
Do I ever see photos of gorgeous bloggers traveling the world and going to glamorous places? Yes. Do I wish I was there instead of at my office in NYC? Probably. But, I’m happy that I got a job right after graduation in New York and have been working hard to learn every aspect of the industry over the past few months. Some people may not get to move to a new city after graduation or even have the luxury of picking what industry to work in. I always try to remember to be thankful for my experiences!
So while I may not ever be that Instagram model, I remember that I do this because it’s my passion. I love writing, creating content, crafting aesthetically pleasing feeds, and connecting with all of you! I enjoy putting outfits together, trying new restaurants, and exploring new areas.
I’ve also met some great girls through this blogging world, and some of them I can honestly call true friends.
The blogging industry can be cutthroat and competitive. People will comment rude things or act unfriendly when you reach out to them. I have so much respect for well-known bloggers who take the time to answer DMs or get personal and real on videos. All of us bloggers, or just #girlboss women, can probably relate in more ways than we think. I’ve found that girls are more self-conscious than guys, and as women with influence, it is our job to build each other up and not comment nasty messages across the internet. I get so excited when I see one of my blogger friends working with an amazing brand or posting beautiful photos, that I always want to share or like their posts!
Overall, there might always be people out there who you are envious of and want something that they have. Just remember, they could be thinking the same exact thing about you! The comparison trap is real, and we can all learn to overcome it. Try not to compare yourself to others because, as cheesy as it sounds, we are all unique and amazing in different ways.
Bloggers- No need to be competitive or rude to other content creators, we should be supportive! Girl Bosses- Keep doing you. Share your talents and support others who may need your help.
As part of this community, I encourage you to compliment three people today and see what a difference it makes. Also feel free to share this with your girl gang to get the conversation started and truly appreciate each other. I’ve found that being kind and supportive to others also makes you feel good about yourself, appreciate less superficial traits, and overcome the comparison trap.